NEWS

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2 hours ago2 min read

C🐓ck Counts

Updated: 11 minutes ago

I always tell people there's a fine line between steam and smut, and that line is "c🐓ck." Or, more specifically, "throbbing c🐓ck."

As such, Amethysts & Alchemy, as well as the first three-fourths of the Gilded Blood series, fall squarely under "steam". Gilded Blood #4 starts getting into steamy-smutty gray territory, as you can see in the below C🐓ck Chart:

Title	C🐓ck Count
Amethysts & Alchemy	0 (3 instances of "throbbing,"incl. "throbbing erecti*n")
Inked	0 (1 mention of "throbbing")
Jinxed	0 (1 mention of "throbbing")
Linked	0 (0 instances of "throbbing")
Synced	1 (3 instances of "throbbing")

Silver BIood, on the other hand, is FIRMLY in c🐓ck Territory, with a whopping THIRTEEN "c🐓cks" mentioned at just 69% in, with three instances of "throbbing," including the touchstone phrase "throbbing c🐓ck."

Incidentally, Britt, Courtney and I had an emergency conference call to look up the C🐓ck Count of several well-known "smut" books, and thought you might find the results fascinating:

Title	C🐓ck Count
Lights Out	38
ACOTAR	17 (but not once as a 🍆reference!!!)
Fourth Wing	5
50 Shades of Grey	0 (!!!)
The Never King	20

(I gotta say, some of these c🐓ck counts really surprised me!!!)

Oh, and speaking of Courtney (who can now officially add "C🐓ck Counter" to her professional resume), everyone please say hello to my newest team member (heh, "member"😏) and Official Marketing Mistress (a.k.a Content Creator), Courtney! She's a published author and has informed me she used the "c🐓ck" 69 times in her smutty novella!

Courtney will also be helping Britt run my brand new street team, which just launched this month! 😍

Dani, meanwhile, is keeping busier than all of us this month thanks to all of the holiday orders coming in! BTW, I'm currently doing 20% off ALL BOOKS - yes, even special edition books - in my shop! Just use code "RR20" at checkout and it'll take 20% off every book in your cart! 😊

Okay gang, having finished the important work of getting all those 🐓's counted, I've got around 30k words to write before the end of the month and special top-secret projects to design in the BG, so I'm off for now! Have a Cocktastic Tuesday!! 🐓

Cheers!❤️

Itching for MORE snark, shenanigans, and signed bananas? Come join my brand-new reader group, Rachel's Renergades! 🍌 🍌 🍌 If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!

A Word from our Queen Helper Bee 👑🐝

Actual call from Rachel today:

"Hey, Britt, stop what you're doing. I need you to help me count c0cks RIGHT NOW."

God, I love my job. 🤣

XoXoX 🫶🏼

Britt

Rachel

Nov 184 min read

THREE Brand-new goodies! (Since when does Xmas come before Thanksgiving?!)

Updated: Nov 18

Hi, Friends!! This newsletter is an AWESOME one, featuring THREE new releases just in time for the holidays, so buckle up!!

But first, some bad news 😢 (mostly for me, not you):

While the new shipment of books was SUPPOSED to arrive today and I had an entire team assembled at 9am to handle ~7,000 lbs of pallets, the shipping company informed me at 11:55am (5 minutes before the end of their 4-hour delivery window) that they would not, in fact, be coming today. Check out the 4--er, 5--of us just sitting around waiting for books:

😢😢😢😂

So for those of you who got preorder shipping notifications last night, your orders should be going out tomorrow - my apologies! 😭 But in the meantime, just LOOK at how pretty they will be when they do get here (and, more importantly, to you!):

If you'd like to get in on tomorrow's shipment, you can order both revamped special edition books here!

Okay, onto ALL THE AWESOME NEW GOODIES coming your way!!!

FIRST up: The preorder link for signed copies of SILVER BLOOD is live!!

Many indie authors don't offer preorders of upcoming releases on their direct shop because it messes with their ranking on Amazon; they'd rather force sales there, for as long as possible, to nab higher rankings. While that's probably smarter, I've never been a "smart" author 😂 Me, I'm all about getting you guys your books ASAFP so you don't have to wait any longer than you already have to!

All that said, Silver Blood paperbacks are expected to ship in February/March, so preorder your copy now! And YES, they will be the same size and design as the other four books in the series!

**BTW, my inbox is currently awash in exclamation-pointed questions along the lines of: "I KNOW IT'S SUPER EARLY BUT WILL THERE BE A SILVER BLOOD SPECIAL EDITION AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WILL IT MATCH THE GILDED BLOOD SPECIAL EDITION OMNIBUS? INQUIRING / OCD MINDS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!!!!!!!!)"

To which, for now, I can only reply: Have I ever let you down re: pretty books?😉

Now, speaking of Gilded Blood and pretty books, if you're in my reader group, Rachel's Renergades, I hinted well over a month ago that I would be turning the deluxe edition omnibus into a paperback to make it more accessible and easier to read.

And guess what? THAT DAY HAS COME!

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of the Gilded Blood Deluxe Edition Omnibus, we're transforming it into an absolutely stunning paperback edition featuring holographic rainbow foil and sprayed edges, colorized illustrations throughout, and a fantastic floppy-yet-sturdy spine that makes it so easy to hold and read!

The books will get here at the beginning of February, but you can preorder now to capture the lowest price!**

This paperback edition includes:

❤️ All four books of the Gilded Blood series combined into one gorgeous paperback omnibus, signed by author Rachel Rener

🧡 A stunning foiled paperback cover featuring Roy's infamous "Butt Cobra" and our beautiful, almond-loving Biscuit

💛 13 full-color illustrations of key moments in the series (sirens, crystal caverns, and baby Biscuits included!

💚 110+ revamped, fully colorized chapter headings (plus detailed character portraits of all your favorite (and not-so-favorite) characters!

💙 Jaw-dropping holographic rainbow foil and sprayed edges

💜 A bonus epilogue featuring Bisskiss and DeeDee! (You can download the audiobook here!

🖤 A discounted price to make the complete series more accessible to all!

**From now until Christmas, the paperback version will be at its lowest price AND NL subscribers (that's you!) can get an additional 10% off with coupon code GILDEDPPB.

While these new books are going to be AMAZING once they get here, I know it sucks that they aren't available until this spring. So I've brought you one last dopamine-boosting goodie that's available RIGHT NOW:

Amethysts & Alchemy glowing crystals!

Hand-collected by your favorite rock collector, Delaney Stone, and her trusty sidekick, Topie! 🐷 Add to your crystal collection today!

Phew!!!! That was a lot of sexy awesome goodies and announcements 🥵

But before I sign off to write burning-hot incubus smut, I wanted to tell you all about a SUPER COOL romantasy giveaway happening right now:

By entering here, the following grand prize is up for grabs:

Print copies of Quicksilver by Callie Hart
Evocation by S.T. Gibson
When The Moon Hatched by Sarah A. Parker
Heartless Hunter by Kristen Ciccarelli
Phantasma by Kayle Smith
The Stars Are Dying by Chloe C. Peñaranda, plus:
A Romantasy Reader candle
Once Upon A Broken Heart art print by RosieThorns88, and
A Court of Thorns & Roses stained glass ornament!

It's almost like Christmas has come early!!! 😍🤤

Have an amazing week ahead!!!❤️

Itching for MORE snark, shenanigans, and signed bananas? Come join my brand-new reader group, Rachel's Renergades! 🍌 🍌 🍌

If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!

Rachel

Nov 83 min read

COVER REVEAL: Silver Blood (and important info for ARC readers!)

For those of you who may have missed last week's announcement, the Gilded Blood series is officially becoming a pentalogy!

Introducing Silver Blood: A Gilded Blood Prequel....

SYNOPSIS (CAUTION: INKED/JINXED SPOILERS AHEAD):

"I could smell her attraction for me, so potent I could almost taste it; somehow, I knew that if I ever let myself steal a sip of her nectar, I would never be able to satisfy my appetite with anything – or anyone – else ever again." *

I am the bastard prince of the summer court, the lone survivor of my mother’s slaughtered bloodline. Enslaved by her killer, I spend half my days as his emissary in the savage wilds of the Fae Realm, and the other half toiling away in a tattoo studio in the heart of Miami.

Because my curse forbids me from killing my family’s murderer – or myself – I have thusly persisted; a broken, half-elf, half-incubus abomination with the boot of a beast on my back and the thirst of a beast lurking within.

But when a needle-phobic art school dropout appears at my door begging for a job, her eyes glistening with golden tears, my entire existence is turned upside down. For in this strange and beautiful creature, I have found two things: a reason for living, and a means for revenge.

Preorder SILVER BLOOD Now!

(Or, if you’re feeling extra impatient, you can get a sneak peek of Chapter 1 by clicking here!)

Also introducing... My Brand New Street Team! 😍

I am so excited to announce that I'm assembling a formal street team - The Renergade Rangers! Our wonderful Queen Bee Britt will be spearheading that endeavor, with me working closely with all involved.

Rangers will have highly exclusive early access to upcoming releases and will enjoy perks such as:

⭐️ Being on my official ARC list and among the first to get sneak peeks of blurbs, covers, etc.

⭐️ Receiving free physical and/or digital copies of my books

⭐️ Getting free swag and exclusive discount codes to use on my shop

⭐️ And.. wait for it..... early access to new Special Edition books (including free proof copies!!) 👀👀👀

If you're interested in being on my team, applications are open today through November 15th, with the official announcement to be made December 1st.

Apply here!

BTW, you do not have to be a Ranger to be included on my upcoming ARC list, applications for which will be opening in January. So be sure to keep an eye out for this newsletter (and to add rachel@rachelrener.com to your email contacts list so the call for applicants isn't funneled to spam)!

I cannot wait to have you on my team! 💜

And finally, OUR NEWEST BATCH OF SPECIAL EDITION BOOKS HAVE ARRIVED AT PORT! We expect them to be at our warehouse in a week or two, at which point we will begin shipping the brand new revamped Lightning Conjurer omnibuses and the newest batch of Bone Whisperer SE Duologies, now with lovely plum purple interior ink! If you haven't ordered yours, now's a great time to nab them before the holidays!

If you've changed addresses since placing your preorder, please let Dani (orders@rachelrener.com) know ASAP by emailing her your order number and adjusted address!

Cheers and happy reading!❤️

Itching for MORE snark and shenanigans? Come join my brand-new reader group, Rachel's Renergades!

If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!